Breaking Foundations

This week I've had a serious rebound. Despite all the flu talk, I was thinking to myself last night how great it was to feel genuinely well and strong again. My usual aches and stiffness from working out are back, but I can't say I mind. To me it's a sign that things are changing.

Today though, I felt splintered. I didn't eat enough, certainly not enough protein. I got up too late, was too rushed running an errand first thing, and it broke my stride for the rest of the day.

The Marine has been working on our basement for a month and a half. He is exhausted and we really haven't been able to do much together with weekends being spent in and on the house. It will all be worth it in the end, but I miss what used to be our normal life.

But in some ways I don't. That old, soggy basement was much like the other parts of my past that I want no part of, a past where I was too tired and too sad most days. Now I am much more in the moment, instead of feeling like the only house in the neighbourhood that still has Christmas lights up in July. Part of me is terrified at the prospect of change, real change. I think that's the discomfort I'm feeling today, why I feel frantic and leaden at the same time.

But my discomfort is outweighed by my curiosity. I don't know where I'll be this time next year. Despite that, the thought of it makes me smile.