Books, Reps, Discomfort

I'm trying to get back into a groove writing here, even though I don't feel I have much to say at the moment. The discipline of regular writing is important to me. In fact it's the reason I even started this blog, with the hope that one day, the random thoughts and musings I post here would morph into the wherewithal to do a book.

I'm beginning to feel that this is the year for that to happen and that I can begin the process of cobbling something together. I have so many ideas swirling around in my head, that I don't really know where to begin, so the second challenge will be focusing my efforts on the actual story to tell.

My workout today went much better for me. I suppose they're mundane to read about, but for me it's important to note them. They do feel monumental at times, getting through a session where my muscles are burning and I don't think I can do one more rep, but then I do it anyway, only to rest a bit so I can do another set all over again.

I remember in the fall driving home after work one night and thinking to myself that this was really my time, that I was actually going to meet my physical goals. I felt mentally prepared for the challenge and after meeting my new trainer, just had a gut feeling that we were sympatico and that he was the person who had the knowledge to get me where I wanted to be, just like my
previous trainer was the right person at the right time as well. She really helped me get my head around the notion that physically, I was a lot stronger than I thought. And when she left my club, it was a real surrender of control for me to trust her judgement and refer me to a new trainer. Usually I'd be setting up a series of interviews.

Now I'm in unfamiliar territory. I'm not fit yet, or even overly strong, but I'm the strongest I've ever been and it feels good, but strange. I can feel parts of my psyche kicking and screaming in protest, making me stop when I probably could go on, making me doubt myself before I even try. It's amazing how patterns of behavior and thought can take you over.

I'm just trying to take pride in my accomplishments thus far and to a great degree, get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I' have a lot further to go, so I better get used to the concept. These biceps ain't curling themselves.