These are the thoughts that have been going through my mind. These are the thoughts I had on Tuesday morning of last week, when I went into work and by 10:30 a.m. was heading back to my car. I no longer had a job.
* * *
I think I made them a little uneasy at the termination. The HR person was going over my package. I nodded occasionally at the various details that were going in one ear and out the other, and took sips of coffee from my Starbucks cup.
"You're handling this very well." she remarked.
"Well," I replied "the writing's been on the wall for quite some time."
It was decided I wouldn't tell my team, along with my boss, what had happened. As the HR person pointed out, I was taking things ok, but there was no way to predict how others would react to it, even with me there. Helluva point. My boss would tell them after I had left.
We headed to the elevator. My boss' eyes were on the verge of tears. I stopped and said "Hey. It's ok." and gave her a hug.
* * *
I feel like I've been rear ended. A major part of my life has been stopped mid-stream. I'm just grateful that things were handled as professionally and as kindly as these things can be. And to be completely honest, as I headed back to my car that morning, I felt like I couldn't believe my luck. The universe has a way of conspiring to help you as Paul Coelho so aptly put it. I finally have what deep down I've been craving for so long: time to catch my breath, rest and sort myself out.
* * *
People have asked me if I'm angry. No I am not. Does this suck? Of course it does, but by God, this could be a helluva lot worse. The last time I was off work for an extended period of time, I was sick, with no money, options, experience or network. This experience is the polar opposite of that.
When I dropped off my signed paperwork, I asked the HR person to please pass on to my former boss that I am just fine and will be ok. I also remarked that she has had a very difficult year having to be the face of so much change and terminations at the company. The HR lady replied that my boss had had a difficult year indeed and that my termination in particular she took very hard. Then she hugged me and said "Zesty, as hard as this is, I sincerely hope this is a blessing for you and a launch pad to something even better."
I think it will be.
* * *
I'm exploring some options right now. I'm going to see how much voice work I can drum up and if I can get an agent. And I'm following up with my contacts. I've decided that I'm going to go for more. I want more money and a more senior role. It took a long time to get to this place mentally.
But more on that later.
In the meantime, I'm taking a well bloody earned vacation.
2 comments:
You do sound like you are talking it very well. I approve of vacation time. I feel like we all need a bit of time between jobs to regroup.
Zest, hang in there. Rise baby rise.
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