All of A Doo Dah

Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?
-- Keane

I've been having a weird couple of days since I got back to work. As my father would say, I'm "all of a doo dah." I don't seem to have a sense of "days" right now as opposed to ongoing happenings lately, a lot of
"bits and bobs" that are just sticking in my mind. For example:

Last night I dreamed about my fellow bloggers. I was in a mall in Detroit [for some reason] and I bumped into this woman who I instinctively knew to be Yazmar. She said, "Oh Hassan's here too! You gotta meet him." And then Hassan shows up, although it looks nothing like Hassan at all, but I know this person to be Hassan. And there was another blogger, but I can't remember their name. It was something like Miss Vicky. Maybe I'm just craving potato chips. Heh!

Without cable, I find myself once again trapped in the funbadness television vortex, hopelessly addicted to such offerings as Rock Star: Supernova and Treasure Hunters. (Damn you Kayte Fogal and your incessant whining!}

I'm in return to work jet lag. You know how you're more awake your first day back at work then your second? Yah, that.

The Decoder just sent me this. A PEN CONVENTION? Great place for a first date.

The Editor just sent me this too. It's a compilation of the National Film Board's animated shorts! Yes, for all y'all that loved The Cat Came Back, here it is in all it's glorious entirety! They don't have Log Rider's Waltz yet, but if there is a God, it will be there soon. In the meantime, let's sing shall we ladies?:

For he goes birling down a-down the white water
That's where the log driver learns to step lightly
It's birling down, a-down white water
A log driver's waltz pleases girls completely.

Then today, there was an article in the Globe & Mail about how 80% of people are "misemployed" in jobs that don't suit them. And I thought, "This is me!" I'm a project manager. I'm a great strategist and holistic thinker. I'm also detail oriented and I don't take any crap. Trouble is, if I have to think for one more person, if I have to keep managing 3 concurrent things at once, if I have to be the wind beneath someone else's wings, I may well lose my mind.

I keep thinking about why I'm so good at something I don't enjoy much sometimes. Or is that really true? Am I just overloaded with work and have lost perspective? I just try to focus on the great people I work with and that the job has its moments of being challenging and satisfying. But I remember lying in bed the other morning thinking I'm 35 now. Do I honestly have 35 more years of this corporate stuff ahead of me? Seriously?

It just never ocurred to me to do something I didn't love for a living. Is that weird?

And now that my energy is rebounding on my allergy free diet, am I freakin' out because some of those things I wanted to do are now seemingly attainable?

Am I just being immature and bitching and moaning about having to work? Yeah. Line starts to the left on that one.

Thoughts. They are a whirlin'.