I went back to my club today for my first workout in three weeks. My lungs finally felt clear, and sure enough I got through my workout feeling not that much worse for wear. There were two other things that motivated me to go. One, which I meant to blog about earlier was my four pound weight loss. Not staggering, but it's a start. I'm just hoping the past few weeks didn't negate it. I didn't bother to weigh myself.
Secondly I slept this weekend. A LOT. Last night I went to bed at 9:30, partly because I was depressed and grumpy but also because I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I slept right through until 7 a.m., got up for a while, then went back to bed at 9:30 a.m. and slept until 1 p.m.!!
And even when I got up, I was really making myself get outta bed.
I remember when I used to feel like this before, where I would literally spend the weekend in bed, genuinely to the bone tired, sleeping off whatever it was I needed to get rid of, and in thinking of how I used to do his, something my boss said to me last week really hit me.
He'd been aware of my absence from work to see the respirologist and we got talking about the results. He was asking me a little bit about my history, and I mentioned I'd been off work nearly ten years ago due to a couple of undiagnosed bacterial infections. I just got worn out trying to keep going despite it. I was telling him how I was struggling against my own impatience but that I hadn't gotten to my current state overnight so I couldn't expect to solve it that way.
He said that was probably the case with my illness and that it has probably taken me that long to get to where I am now, to bounce back and get to a point where I can attempt a regular work out program that has a chance of sustaining itself. He said that I am where I am, and if that means I need to just walk on a treadmill for six months, then I need to respect that that is where my body is right now.
I thought his point about the journey back was very true. There's a naturopathic term as well, the herxheimer reaction, or "healing crisis" in which as the body heals itself, it will vent toxins and show similar symptoms to the disease being treated.
Maybe I'm just thinking wishfully. But I haven't had a sleep like that in a while. I'd like to think it happened as part of getting back to where I was before.
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3 comments:
His point about respecting your body was good. Very good. I like that a lot. I honestly can never figure out how far is safe to push myself without hurting myself (which means I'm mostly just lazy and don't try).
LOL! Don't be so hard on yourself Sassymonkey!
I can push myself to the limit work-wise (to the point where I zombify myself actually) but in a physical sense? With exercise? I haven't figured out that line. My attempts to pass it usually end up with me totally exhausting myself. There's a blog post for me in these comments me thinks. ;)
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