Work continues to be intense. I'm trying to remember that circumstances are unique at the moment. The amount of meetings I'm in frustrates me, especially when my brain's so tired I can't remember my name never mind what's on my "to do" list. But we've got several big projects on the go and I have to remind myself that shortly, a lot of the work will be over and things will get back to normal.
On the plus side, two things are helping me immensely right now. One is my exercise program and the second is rest.
My progress is slow but steady and I can now feel some real changes in my body day to day, not just when I work out. I feel real strength starting to build and every day tasks are that less burdensome. Being fat is an essentially ironic experience. It's the ultimate weight bearing exercise, yet it yields no physical benefit whatsoever.
In terms of sleep, my specialist wanted to see how I did without medication. I finished it as per the plan, and lasted about two weeks. By that time, my sleep completely deteriorated back to its original state, so much so that I contacted my specialist's office again and asked if I could start it in advance of my follow up appointment. He agreed and we'll go from there.
I don't think I need to be on it long term, but it made enough of an immediate impact that my life was injected with a sense of possibility again versus a simple state of mere existence. I don't know why my brain doesn't embrace a normal sleep process, but when I manage this deficiency, my world changes. When I'm rested, when I actually sleep, the day to day of life's tasks isn't a Herculean endeavor. I can get on with things, plan, get ahead and catch up.
Still rested or otherwise, when I looked out the window this morning and saw snow, yes SNOW, I nearly lost my mind.
This has been a long and obstinate winter. I'll be glad to see the back of it.
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