Operation Pudge Nudge: Insights

About two weeks ago I figured out why I hadn't been going to the rec centre to work out. My lungs and ears were very congested due to the fact that I have some food allergies. I realized that subconsciously, I had been avoiding the workouts to avoid the inevitable bronchial infection that arrives after I start an exercise routine of any kind. I suppose this is because if I'm already congested, stirring it up doesn't exactly help matters.

So I went completely cold turkey and got my ass in gear with eating only those things that are "safe". So far, so good. My ears are still congested but my lungs feel much better. I'm also sleeping right through the night for the first time in nearly a year, which is an absolute Godsend.

So I believe that this week I can get things started without courting an infection or cold of any kind. I'm just going to take it easy and start with good long walks on the treadmill - after my orientation of course. Sigh.

I must admit however, that I am hitting the wall already and will need to find new items to eat as I'm already becoming bored with the somewhat limited selection of food items I've been having thus far. I also have the added complication of trying another candida cleanse too. For those of you who don't know what this is, it's essentially a systemic yeast infection that comes about primarily from antibiotic use. When the antibiotic wipes out the infectious bacteria, it also knocks out your good intestinal bacteria. As a result, the yeast that's just hanging out in your system goes to town as you no longer have any good bacteria to counteract it.

Thankfully I'm seeing my doctor on Wednesday for a check up and she's familiar with this condition. I'm getting very annoyed having to avoid fruit so I'm hoping she has some solutions. How I long for the days of being able to eat a bagel and get the hell on with my life.

At any rate, I'm starting my exercise program this week and I am of course dreading it. I went for a walk around my neighbourhood yesterday just to get out and about. I ended up on Indigo's street and saw about three houses getting reno'd and wondered which was hers. But it really brought home to me how well and truly out of shape I am.

To be honest, I had planned to give you my current weight and measurements and do a monthly check in of sorts. But after the first measurement [my waist] I decided Hell. No. I mean honestly, I have enough going on in my life to torture me, like a lack of chocolate and Madonna flashing her crotch in every picture I see of her these days. Truly dear reader, why add to my anguish?

But what I can do is start things off on a good note, which is my weight. I'm 195 pounds, which on a 5'4" frame is not good, but considering that a year ago I was about 212, that's not too damn bad. So I've essentially lost 17 pounds without really trying that much. I expect that exercising can only help.

Right now, I feel on the verge of killing someone because I have a really wicked craving for chocolate almonds. My mantra when I hit these moments is: If I succumb, I am further away from my goal. This is really helping me. I'm not talking about denying myself a few chocolate almonds now and again. I'm talking about moments right now when I feel like downing a whole bag in one go. My allergist warned me that I'd have really bad cravings once I got on the wagon.

So I think the best path is avoidance.

Not to mention the fact that the other night I had a chocoalmond breakdown. I went to the store, bought the chocolate covered almonds and cracked open the package in the car and popped one in my mouth. Problem was that I couldn't swallow it. My body quite simply did not want it. It even tasted different. I can only chalk this up to my allergy avoidance regime.

So I finally just spit the almond out and threw the package in the garbage as I didn't want them tempting me at home. Then I went back and sat in my car and burst into tears. I guess I was just upset because I'm so sick of having to think about everything that goes in my mouth and not just being able to enjoy food for its own sake. I really envy these people who can smoke and drink and jog five miles and eat pizzas and not gain a pound or have bad skin. I am not one of these people, so there's no point moping about it.

Still, I have a long hard road ahead of me. Only thing to do is start walking down it. Sitting here bitching isn't going to get much accomplished.