Take Me To The River

This past Sunday was The Big Dip. Yes I am now baptised or as my friend “Anastasia” says “I’m so glad you’re not going to hell.” [Insert sarcastic chortle here.]

On Saturday I had to attend Baptism prep so that we would all know what the fark we were doing. The church alternates its baptism service times and yours truly got the 9:15 a.m. service. It was an entire weekend where I did not get to sleep in. Not being much of a morning person, I see this as a test of my faith. My Dad joked with me, saying it puts me right up there with all the saints and matyrs because I made the supreme sacrifice of not sleeping in past 10 a.m.

“She is risen!” Heh!

Baptism prep should have been called Land of Cutie Patooties. As I suspected, I was the only adult getting baptised. My other “baptisees” were Oscar, Graham, Sadie, Hailey and Abby. Sadie you’ll be glad to know also had a birthday party to attend afterwards. The children’s minister asked if she was doing anything exciting at the party to which Sadie replied “Yes! I’m eating cake!” The minister replied that that sounded really good and did Sadie think she could come too.

Sadie, in a masterful display of that matter of fact tone only four year olds possess, replied “No. I don’t think so.”

Oscar’s older brother Owen also even gave me a shout out next day at the service. After the actual baptism, I got a lit candle to represent my transition into the light of Christ etc. etc. Owen was quite taken with this and yelled “HEY ZESTY!!!” It was very cute and he was quite chuffed that I waved to him across the aisle. Given the presentation of lit candles to everybody, it was probably just as well that my niece Rosy, otherwise known as The Fire Warden, wasn’t there. She would have been regailing everyone with a stern lecture of how we needed to put the candles out RIGHT NOW so the church wouldn’t burn down.

I have to admit that the night before I was “up to high doh” as my Dad would say. The entire 9:15 am service was devoted to the baptisms, and I realized I was really uncomfortable with this. I recalled Rosy’s baptism on a quiet autumn day, how it was just immediate family in the same small church my sister got married in. That was how I envisioned my baptism. Instead, it was a dedicated service in a huge historic church with a large congregation. I felt the same way I did when the church asked me to take my courses. Although these courses turned out to be fabulous, I had a feeling at first of “Geez, can you just do the water thing and get this over with?” I really didn’t want a big deal made of it.

But in the end, it was a very nice service. I tried to focus on enjoying it instead of hoping it would be overwith. I suppose it was just the traditionalism of the service that unnerved me. I didn’t want my folks or the Marine feeling uncomfortable with all the talk of “sin” and “redemption” and “the only path to salvation” but they didn’t mind. Actually, my mother was very emotional through the whole thing and kept crying, but she assured me it was because she was happy.

At the end, the church gave me a bible – unfortunately I didn’t get one with pictures like the other shorties did – and a certificate. Yesterday I felt like I’d closed an important circle, that I had made a choice to go down a certain road and would now see where it would take me.

Talk about “Jesus Take the Wheel.” I just hope we can stop at a McDonald’s once in a while.