A Little Voice

I'm going to give this a try.

It's a New Year. Like many people I know, it was a new year that I was decidedly glad to see arrive.

2016 felt like a slog. I can't even say it was a bad year, discounting of course the unrelenting loss of celebrities and rock stars that seemed to happen every other week. But no, it wasn't that bad a year. In fact, a lot in my life got better or mercifully didn't regress and get worse. It had its share of disappointments, things I didn't see coming or didn't have the wherewithal to foresee. But nothing insurmountable, nothing irrecoverable.

And so what? I'm still here. I'm still hopeful my life is going to get better. I'm still hopeful I'll get better at seeing all the good things I already have in it.

So as I sat on the couch today, navigating day 10 of recovery from an awful flu, I took it into my head to start writing here again.  And then a little voice said "Do it every day. For a year."

I'm not sure I can. I'm not even sure I want to. There's part of me that doesn't want to be on the internet at all. And yet I feel I'm losing part of myself when I don't write. And writing has been really really hard the last few years.

I wonder if it would have helped? In a way, I'm glad I don't have everything that's happened documented. It's not stuff I want to relive. And yet having something to look back on is important sometimes, if for no other reason than that it creates a memorial of sorts, a testament to what happened, a corralling of it in the past.

So I'm going to write every day in 2017. I'm going to fence this year in and find out later what doing so will mean.

I don't think I can do it.