Five Years and Counting....

Friday marked our fifth anniversary in our house. I was thinking the other day that the past five years have felt like ten, for both good and bad reasons. I've been through a lot, changed a lot and done a lot.

My general feeling now is that I'm at another turning point, and I feel more positive about things than I have in quite some time. I think I've gotten some big lessons in the past little while which in no particular order are:

1. If The Marine and I can get through the past five years, I think we can probably get through anything together.

2. I need to not let my self-care fall apart when life gets rough. Although in my own defense, I've had a lot coming at me and I did my best. Sometimes your best isn't that great, but what are you gonna do? Just give up?

3. I need to enjoy the ride more. I'm always looking to the future, not spending much time dealing with where I am, what I have and enjoying it. Intellectually I enjoy things and I am thankful, but I need to take time to feel it. I also think that focusing on how things are "not how I envisioned them" clouds my vision and makes me unable to see what other opportunities are there for me or the other interesting directions in which my life could go.

4. I need to stop feeling bad because I have a good life. I've worked hard, made a lot of sacrifices and enacted hard decisions to have a good life and keep drama to a minimum. But I often get trapped into thinking "Well I have a house. Some people in this world have a hovel." But that kind of thinking is, in my opinion, letting myself off the hook. It's permission to fail. It's permission to not be my best. The better I do, the better I can do for others. That's going to be my focus from now on.

5. Having a corner lot garden is a crap load of work.

6. You will always run out of cat food when it is most inconvenient so always be well stocked.

7. You can live with completely white walls for five years and keep your sanity. Just barely, but you can keep it.