U.P.S.? YOU SUCK

How's this for a business model? Imagine that if customers can't meet your expectations, they don't get their product. Yes, I shit you not.

Such was the encounter I had today. I came home for lunch for a much needed break in my day and upon checking the mail, discovered to my joy that U.P.S. had made an attempt to deliver my dehumidifier from Costco. I assumed U.P.S. has a similar model to other couriers in that you can make subsequent arrangements to get your package.

Instead, I called the number provided and a recording informed me that:

I could not pick the parcel up at a depot.
I could not arrange an alternate time when I would actually be home to have the package delivered.
That after three attempts the delivery would be abandoned.

I called U.P.S to confirm the above and unbelievably enough, it was actually true. Adding insult to injury was the fact that I wasn't even in their system when I called, so they told me someone else would call me back at my office number as I could have my dehumidifier delivered to an alternate address.

So let's just recap here....

U.P.S. is not going to let me pick an item up, saving them time, money and gas.

U.P.S. are going to continue to swing by my home address, at least two more times, even if I won't be home wasting time, money and gas.

U.P.S. can deliver to an alternate address [if on the route!] which means I still need to transfer an item to my home myself, that I've already paid to have shipped there directly.

Now having a personal item such as a dehumidifier delivered to my work was precisely what I didn't want to do because frankly, I just didn't think it was appropriate, as if mail room staff don't have enough to do.

But I called the mail room when I got back to the office.

"Hi there. I'm in a bit of a pickle and wondered if you could help me. I'm expecting a personal package via U.P.S. that I was originally having sent to my home -"

"Oh and let me guess. They can't do that can they? They can't actually make a delivery when you'll be there. Have 'em send it here."

Obviously I wasn't the first person who'd encountered this and my mail room at work couldn't have been more helpful.

What can Brown do for you? Sweet F*ck All apparently.