And thus, after almost a month of research and planning, I am ready to commence Operation Pudge Nudge, my one woman assault against the forces of flab.
Before I get into anything about this new weight loss initiative, however, I'd like to say something directly to any readers who are overweight.
If you're happy and you know it, good on ya. The Pudge Nudge aspect of my blog for this year is not about making anyone feel bad about themselves or their choices. It's about reflecting on my feelings as I deal with my weight, and if this exercise [no pun intended] is of help or even amusement to others, so be it. But I just wanted to say that if you're a size 16 and happy with yourself, rock on.
I make this point because anyone who is overweight knows what I'm talking about when I say that you get used to people, particularly thin ones, talking about the subject of fat mindlessly. What I mean are things like jokes by size 8 women at Christmas about how "fat" they'rer getting eating so many holiday goodies, or somebody going to the gym who remarks that they are going "to work off their fat ass", or other people who are overweight who make fat jokes at their own expense or who judge themselves very harshly because of their weight issues.
As an overweight person, you learn not to let this stuff bother you, but despite your most emotionally mature efforts, sometimes you just feel labelled and judged by the people who make these remarks, even if to label and judge is not their intention.
I just want any overweight person who's ever been in the presence of these remarks and felt completely invisible to know that I'm not labelling or judging you here. My goal, is simply to be as honest about things as possible.
So, with this in mind, let the battle commence.
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Dear Zesty,
The question is not size 6 or size 16, but where do we set the bar for ourselves? I am a size 6 who is plagued by the visions of the size 0 sales girls in the stores where I shop. If only I were the ideal 0. Not only size 16's are afflicted with this sickness. Alot of us have the belief that we are not good enough in nearly everyhting we do. When vocalize my own distress about my body, my distress is real. I say it because I feel it. I think most women would agree that the bar we set for ourselves, usually does not apply to other women. Does the big bootie of Alicia Keys offend me? Absolutely not. By my standards, she is drop dead gorgeous. If I have ever made an offhand comment about size in the presence of a larger woman, it's usually with humour because as women, we are all in this together. I think we all feel the pressure. Sad, but true.
Your buddy,
Lady G.
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