Don't Squeeze The Charmin

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those that do. And for those people who like country music 'denigrate' means 'put down'." - Bob Newhart

Discovered a new invention this evening.

Events being what they were, it was required of me to visit Dominion after work and purchase toilet paper. I stumbled upon an eight pack that had a gift with purchase. To be honest, I at first thought it was one of those samples you sometimes get when a company is launching a new product. I wondered if it might have any regifting potential.

Turned out it was a "toilet roll extender". Even as this point, I still did not realize the full meaning of this product, as I thought it might be something for the fanitically frugal, i.e. it would divide your toilet roll in two as you "went" so to speak.

OK. Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't think this was an unreasonable assumption. There are people out there who actually do this; divide toilet paper, save foil, wash and re-use ziploc baggies, that sort of thing.

When I got home I discovered that it was in fact an extender for the toilet roll holder thereby allowing the super duper double roll of paper to sit comfortably and turn in a regular dispenser.

Honestly, what will the good people at Charmin think of next? I and my peaches salute every last damn one of you.

In other news, we may have a serial criminal on our hands. Our step ladder got ripped off from our backyard and yesterday, our green bin went missing. One shudders to think of the evil machinations our neighbourhood Moriarty has planned next. The sad reality is that the elderly Portaguese men of our neighbourhood are steadily dying off. They spend the better part of their retirement tending their homes and are ready at a moment's notice to pound the crap out of anyone who dares mess with tha hood. It's probably one of the few things that stopped pockets of South Parkdale's oblivion moving north over the last 20 years.

Speaking of pockets of oblivion, you may want to check out this article on P.Diddy. Turns out the ad campaign for his new perfume "Unforgivable" is causing the U.S. Bible Belt to tighten up a knotch. It's been banned.

What is all the fuss about? Everybody should get some perspective fer Chrissakes. I mean, his tribute to Notorious B.I.G. "Missing You", now that was unforgivable.