Quote of the Day

" 'No' is your friend. Use it well. Use it wisely. Use it often."

Is It Friday Yet?

I haven't been so glad to get to the end of a work day in quite some time.

I started my new freelance gig today, which for the most part, went as most first days go. Like most places, the people are nice. It's the same place, but different, and you just need to get your head around it all.

I didn't need to be there until 930 am, but I left early to give myself more than enough time since my usual route to the Gardiner has been under construction for some time, and I would need to take Lakeshore Blvd instead. As expected, it was chugga chugga chugga the whole way, particularly once I got near the core.

I can't begin to describe what an utter sh*tstorm construction is making the south end of Toronto right now. So many condos are being built. Union station is being redone. Queen's Quay is torn apart for blocks.

So with nearly an hour to spare, I get to the parking garage right next to my office, anticipating the nice coffee I'm going to sit and enjoy. Except their system is down, which means I have to go back out and can't go back the way I've come. This forces me into a huge detour up York street, across King and back down Yonge. Enroute, a porsche sped up and pulled in front of me forcing me to slam on my breaks. It was no small consolation that he was signalling to turn right on Wellington, a street that is only one way in the opposite direction.

45 minutes later, I was parked in the furthermost regions of Toronto's arctic tundra. Yes, in the middle of one of the most miserable winters on record, there's nothing I enjoy more then parking right next to Lake Ontario and walking in gale force winds to get to work. I made it with 7 minutes to spare for a coffee and a muffin. I hate muffins for breakfast as they don't get me off to a good start, but whatever. At that moment, I would have eaten an oven warmed sneaker I was so perished.

I get to reception, meet the resource manager and get settled. I start going through the orientation documentation, which in a nice change, is robust and they have done a really good job outlining where everything is and how things are done. Except my boss isn't in and hasn't been since the previous week. He did something to resurrect an old injury and broke a rib! My other boss is off sick. So the other senior person, quite a lovely lady, talks my ear off while sending via email, various other items of documentation. Except, I'm trying to keep my composure because my bowels are telling me in no uncertain terms that the hazelnut flavoured coffee I had does not agree with me.

I manage to get back to my desk and ascertain my email is now up and running. I attempt to send a message and discover that the keyboard I have is one of those awful scaled down ones that are half the size of a normal keyboard. So I keep going to hit the space bar with my thumb and instead keep hitting letters. I confirm, thank God, that I can bring in a spare normal one from home, until help desk orders me one.

That's enough of that and I decide some lunch is in order.

The weather is miserable so I decide that the Italian place inside the building will do for today. Oh I forgot to mention. The inside foyer of the building is also a ruin because it's being completely torn apart and redone. So the Italian place is shoved into a kiosk of sorts right by the front door. The servers are in jackets because it's freezing and every time someone opens the doors, I have to hold on to my top so it doesn't blow up.

I somehow muddle through the remaining documentation and get to the end of the day. I head back home westbound on Queen's Quay as that's the way I need to go and most people are avoiding it due to everything being torn up.

I get to the street just west of Bathurst to turn left on to Lakeshore and discover after nearly a decade of using this route, that there is a no left turn between 4 and 6 pm sign. I say to myself, eff it. If I get a ticket, I get a ticket. Fortunately for me, some other poor soul had been picked off before me and I escaped unscathed.

A visit to the pet store and a pick up of dinner, got me home by 6 pm.

I can only be thankful I had the foresight to not book a spin class tonight.

Mid-Vacation Musings

It's only now that my vacation has sunk in. Sunday night, my brain was still gearing up for work. I've been blissfully disconnected after the work marathon of the past year. I think it's because there are people there to carry on without me, therefore, I'm less likely to have work on my brain.

Still, I'm a bit edgy for no reason at all really and I'm just trying to focus of enjoying the time off. Monday will come soon enough. I have another workout tomorrow [ack! I'm dreading it.] and a visit to the doctor and perhaps a visit to my folks later this week if my energy improves and I feel alert enough to drive on the highway. Really that's about as ambitious as the week is going to get and that suits me just fine. I'm completely wiped and want to take advantage of the time to rest.

My voice over reel is also a wrap and I am incredibly pleased with the results. Next week I'm focusing on preparing packages to send to agents and going from there. I'm feeling very positive and even if nothing comes of the exercise I still feel proud of myself for just getting it done and not letting any lack of confidence get in the way. Ideas and intentions are really nothing. It's the doing that counts. That's what I find anyway, that I can reconcile results [or lack thereof] knowing that at least I've tried.

I expect my doctor's visit tomorrow to yield nothing in the usual way that these visits never really reveal anything of major note - fine by me, by the way. Who the hell wants a major diagnosis? Still, I just wish sometimes that I could make more sense out of the fatigue I've been battling for years, that I had a definitive explanation. Perhaps it's really all the anemia, and given my lack of shots and how hard my work out was on Monday, I think it's come back.

But, I have a really good feeling about my new doctor, and I think if there's anything to find, she'll find it. If she comes back and says it the usual suspects of anemia and low vitamin D, then I just need to stick with managing those effectively and doing whatever I can, whenever I can.

One thing that my trainer pointed out last work out however, was the fact that I've lost five inches off my waist. It's certainly not due to exercise or loss of weight - neither has occurred. I can only surmise that better quality sleep is the explanation. It's really the only thing of note that's changed substantially in the last few weeks.

Why am I even telling you this? I dunno. But I guess now I'll need to tell you what the doctor said. LOL.

Typing, Early Morning

Ended up getting a callback and did that Saturday. Seemed to go well but things are in the laps of the Gods at this point. There will be something else if this doesn't work out. I went to a series of readings yesterday at the same theatre company and participated in one as well. Ended up having to pinch hit at the last minute, reading the part of Raymond, the protagonist's gay Latino friend. Despite the cold [why is it that every community theatre in this city has NO heating whatsoever?] it was a very enjoyable afternoon with some great writing and performances.

I have to admit though that it was a bit exhausting. It was a tough week, then I had a Saturday of moving furniture at my folks house, then the call back, then readings yesterday. I was ready for my weekend to start at about 6 p.m. last night. But by the same token, I like keeping busy with things other than my day job. It helps me to feel I have a life of work I care about, even if it only asserts itself periodically.

And certainly, obtaining that feeling is a major accomplishment these days. I find myself once again in the early hours, typing away because I can't sleep. I couldn't tell you the last time I slept right through the night, from dark to light. It's literally been years.

And yet I get up, grab a quick look at my work calendar and it doesn't all seem as overwhelming as it did initially and I wonder why I felt stressed. I'm sure things will get better and no doubt the last while has been particular in its challenges. Fortunately, the fall out from the lay off has been minimal. Still, there was the odd icy glance at the last departmental meeting.

I can't worry about that. I simply have to respect the fact that some people did like my fellow employee. No doubt, however, they were presented with a very different side then I or my predeccessor encountered. Part of me really wants to sit them down and tell them how really really bad it was.

Corporate politics. Fun times.

Mulberry Bush

Right now it's 11:39 p.m. and someone down the street is banging away on something. It sounds like a dismantlement of some kind. How cruelly the more yobbo aspects of this neighbourhood continue to assert themselves like a fungus on too old bread.

I'm still up because I'm avoiding sleep and I'm avoiding sleep because going to bed will bring tomorrow soon enough, and frankly I can't be bothered.

Hassan wrote about feeling like everyone around you is crazy although on a far more compelling level than I'm feeling. Nevertheless, today was relentlessly frustrating, one of those days that made me wonder why I bother.

I cling ever closer to the notion of an office free future.

I Love This Woman!

So funny.

Lucky Star...Not

I have to admit I feel rather conflicted after hearing about Madonna's riding accident.

First of all, I LOVE Madonna. Always have. I'm sorry to hear she fell off her horse and broke bones. Why the media hysteria? Some reports I've seen from Britain, Sky News in particular, were treating the story like it was a siesmic world event.

Huh?

She fell off a horse.

A brand new horse. Do you know how much horses cost?

Oh yeah. While riding around on her English country estate.

But then this got me thinking, which I am inclined to do on occassion. Why do I dismiss her pain? Essentially that's what I'm doing isn't it? She's rich and materially comfortable, ergo her pain doesn't count.

I take it back. Forgive me for thinking out loud on a blog. I think what's bothered me about this is the time spent covering something that's essentially benign. Madonna fell. She broke bones. She'll recover swimmingly.

(Trust me on this one. Her comeback after the Erotica era was second only to Christ's resurrection.)

But I digress. Why the hoopla? Why should I care? I'm sorry it happened, but my life's going on. Why are stories like this treated on a par with oil spills and hurricanes and Parliamentary tomfoolery?

I don't get it. But for the record, I hope Madonna gets well soon. Birthday bone breakage is a serious bummer.