I Know I'm Reading Yazmar's Blog Too Much When

1. I arrive at work and instead of saying “Good Morning” I say “Hay! Hay! HAAAAYYYYY!”
   
   
2. I see pictures of celebrities and automatically begin composing witty captions to go with them.
   
   
3. If a difficult situation arises, instead of telling my boss that I will “get right on it”, I inform him that “I will regulate on THAT ass. Ya feelin’ me?”
   
   
4. When interviewing prospective employees, I ask them to give me the songs that make up the soundtrack of their life. If there are any songs by Chicago, they’re immediately eliminated from my candidate pool. [This has been surprisingly effective in separating the wheat from the chaff I’ll have you know.]
   
   
5. On the spur of the moment, I ask people controversial questions like “Ok. You’re on a desert island with Hitler and Osama Bin Laden. Who do you whack first and how?”
   
   
6. Our general manager made a suggestion I thought was crazy. I told her that her ass was a hot nutt.